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Bitterness Exercise

from Sanity Requiem by BK James

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Oh, and I always think its the last time
Then it creeps up real slow
Right past my spine

I try to scrape away the resin that resides
In the nooks and crannies of my mind
But no matter how hard I try
To scour away the contents
They're intrinsically entwined
I've got far too much resentment memorized
They say "Don't you know you crossed the line?"
No, didn't even realize
Now it's too late to rectify
All the lies that I testified
They told that they hate me
Well they told me with their eyes
And I?
I just sat back and ingested the pesticide
Oh, don't look so surprised
Now gather around all you hollow children
It's time for the bitterness exercise

When I was nine I thought I was a superhero
So I wore my costume to school
I knew it was weird, I had no fear though
But as I stood atop the slide
Wearing my yellow costume with pride
Some boys started throwing rocks
And my moment was crushed
I pictured what I looked like
And watched myself blush
Oh, what a rush
I felt so fucking low I could just give up
But I didn't
I jumped off the slide and picked a stone up
Theirs were breaking my skin
So I threw mine harder
We both got lunch detection
I requested no barter
I left that town and made new friends in 4th grade
But no matter how much time passes
The bitterness stays

When I was fourteen
All my friends told me they couldn't talk to me anymore
Because they thought I had arranged infighting
Amongst then a few years before
I remember their faces looking down on me
As I sat on the floor
And they all laughed at me
When I screamed"this means war"
The next day in school I never felt more ignored
They told everybody I was a bastard
A backstabber and far too strange
So I walked the halls in a haze
And everyone looked at me
Like I was a dog covered in mange
And it drove me insane
I couldn't cope with the pain
Something snapped in my brain
I would never be the same
I used to be trustworthy and outgoing
But never again
And out of my mortal remains
Rose BK James

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from Sanity Requiem, released April 20, 2015

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BK James New Paltz, New York

BK James is the infamous co-founder of Three Penis Productions, an experimental music label, and has been steadily releasing music since a handful of BK & KGC songs appeared on Youtube in 2010. For more from BK, check out:

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